Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
