Sponge bath it is.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
