And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize