I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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