Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
