I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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