Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm passing your future prison.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
