Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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