she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
