i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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