I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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