so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
