You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just cropdusted the office
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
