You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
