Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
