Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
