I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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