yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
