my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
