Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
