I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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