Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
