Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize