Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
