every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
