U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had to cum in my sink.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
