Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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