WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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