She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Randomize