I feel great
I just peed on a car
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize