So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
