Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
