if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
