I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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