brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize