we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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