...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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