The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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