I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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