you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
