I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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