I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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