Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
