KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
