i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
