At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
