Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
