My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
