That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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