It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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