living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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