Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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