That reminds me...we need to get swords
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
