I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
