I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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