You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Green mimosas i think yes
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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