I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
