sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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