the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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