no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This is my gift to your gina
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
